Self-Sufficient and SEXY

“My life began when you walked into it… the answer has always been yes!” This was the caption of a post I saw this week on my Facebook timeline. Someone I know was posting photos of her marriage proposal and this was her caption. I am overjoyed for her, but the verbiage of her caption made me want to scream and pull my hair out. I read her post and my first thought was “Oh HELL no.” “My life began when you walked into it.” No. It did not. You had a life for over 20 years before a man walked into it and you would have to find a way to keep on living if he walked out of it.

Ladies, we do not NEED men. Our lives should not revolve around men, and even if we get into a relationship (or even a marriage) we still need to live our own lives. Regarding the woman who made this post, I genuinely hope this marriage lasts until her last breath. However, divorces happen, and death happens. If he were in a tragic accident tomorrow and passed away, would she not have a life anymore? If her life began the moment he walked into it would her life end when he isn’t in it anymore? That is the problem with her statement.

I know firsthand how easy it can be to put all of your happiness into a man, but you have to be able to be happy on your own. Even if you do get into a relationship keep your hobbies, keep your alone time, and keep your girls night outs. I understand how it can be easy to want to spend time with your man instead of going out with the girls, but don’t stop doing the things you used to do to spend time with him. You should not have to give up those things for a healthy relationship anyway, he should understand. It may seem fine to stop doing small things, hobbies you like, but each time you give something up (no matter how small it may seem) you are giving up part of yourself.

The ironic thing is – men actually find it attractive when you keep leading your own life. Men don’t want you to be completely dependent upon them, they want you to have hobbies, friends, and to be self-sufficient. While you want them, you shouldn’t need them. It is extremely attractive to a man when you have your own life and he knows that you could actually leave him at any minute and be just fine. You become exciting, and he knows that you are choosing to be with him because you want him not because you need him and have to be.

The most important thing to remember is this – if you want to be a Boss Ass Bitch you should not NEED a man. Even if you find yourself in a relationship you should still always be able to leave the relationship and still be able to be happy and self-sufficient.

XOXO,

Ashley Rathbone