The Supernova

Okay ladies, today’s blog is going to deviate from the norm a bit. Instead of a normal, fun ass blog post I am going to tell you a heartbreaking bedtime story. The story is titled the damaged princess and the supernova.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away there lived a beautiful princess. This princess lived alone in a high up tower for many long years. While the princess may have been alone, she was never lonely. She was independent and content with her single life. She had a career to build, dogs to take care of, fitness classes to instruct, friendships to nurture, and a home to buy. What more could she want? She couldn’t think of a single thing, until she met him.

Just to give a little backstory on why this princess lived alone in her single bliss, we should discuss the princesses past courtships. The princess was very very beautiful. All of the eligible suitors in her kingdom wanted a chance at her hand. The suitors showed up in lines at the palace gates every day for the chance to meet her highness. She was almost like a siren in the way she drew men in. However, the suitors who she did allow the honor of meeting her never stuck around.

You may be wondering “Why would the suitors all leave the princess after meeting her? She is driven, independent, and beautiful? Why, when every man in the kingdom wants her, can she not keep even one?” While the princess may be beautiful, smart, and driven, she also has many undesirable traits. For some suitors, it was her weirdness. (The princess is a damn freak) For others, it was having to wait for a real relationship to make it into her bed chamber. (What a fucking prude…) And for some it was simply the realization that she was human. Some suitors had this perfect image of her that shattered when they learned she had any imperfections at all. (Why take the imperfect woman, when there are 200 other women on the internet who seem to be perfect?)

I know those traits don’t seem that bad, but for those reasons men continued to leave her. After the princess was rejected over the years by HUNDREDS of her own suitors she started to develop her most undesirable trait of all, her insecurity. After each rejection, each ghosting, each break up, she kept on. She decided that she wouldn’t let her past rejections get her down, but as 20 turned into 50 which then turned into 100 rejections of who she is (these weren’t rejections of her looks but of her personality), she started to feel like there was something wrong with her.

The princess began to worry that she couldn’t do anything right. She worked every day to hide her weirdness and when she met suitors she tried to be as normal as she could. She considered going further than she wanted with the men so that they wouldn’t bounce night one from her prudeness. She tried so FUCKING hard to be PERFECT. She didn’t want the suitors to realize that she too was human with flaws. She felt like she was bound to mess everything up with every single man. She wasn’t secure in who she was any more.

I wish I could have told you that the princess realized she wasn’t the problem, but she believed she was. The princess felt like nothing more than a fuck up in her love life. Even the Queen, her own mother, said that she needed to find a “special man” to be able to handle her weird personality. She felt defeated, so she took a LONG break from men.

She was in the middle of this blissful break from the dating world when she happened to see him. In this blog we have used a lot of creative names to hide the identities of the men we have discussed. We have had Hunk, Mr. Pilot, Mr. Lawyer, Anti Prince Charming, and The Anomaly. I’ve really been at a loss for what I should call this man. After much thought, I have decided to name him "The Supernova" because meeting him was truly a massive astronomical explosion for our princess.

The princess saw this man and knew she had to meet him. She left all of her suitors to become a suitress. The reason she wanted to meet him was obviously based on the way he looked…. He was THE MOST HANDSOME man she had ever seen in her life. Like a beautiful and unobtainable star up in the night sky. But what really made this man special is that when she met him she got to be herself. She let the freak flag fly and he liked it because he was a weirdo two. She loved every minute that she spent hanging out with him.

He liked the weird. He was willing to wait for a relationship for sex. He was intelligent, driven, and handsome. Too bad it couldn’t last.

Why couldn’t this one last? He liked her personality… he was okay with waiting…. What the hell happened?!?! It was her most undesirable trait. The one that was caused by all of the others.. Her insecurity. She did NOT want to mess this one up, which ironically, is exactly what did mess it up. What is more ugly than an insecure woman who needs constant reassurance that she didn’t fuck up and that she is still liked? Nothing. Worrying about constantly being a fuck up is exactly what made her one.

This taught the princess a very valuable lesson. No matter how badly you want to be perfect, you never will be. That does not however, mean that you won’t find a suitor who likes you for you (imperfections and all). All of those things that made her so insecure (her weirdness, prudeness, etc.) were things he had liked. Maybe she didn’t really need to be so insecure with him. Maybe moving forward she will try to be secure in herself because she has realized that a man can like her for who she is.

Sadly, these lessons are learned the hard way.

The explosion of a supernova occurs in a very short timespan. She hadn’t realized that her time was going to be so limited and that she would be left with a black hole from the dead star.

Ladies, you will never be perfect and that is okay.

Suitors, never walk away from someone just because you see some faults. Have patience and realize that nobody is perfect. It’s the affection that matters, not the perfection.

XOXO,

Rathbone