The Sixth Sense

SURPRISE!!!

Hey BABES! I’m sure you weren’t expecting to see me again so soon. What can I say? Mama has been busy. Belonging to the streets is a tough job, but someone has to do it so the rest of you beautiful babes can get all wifed up.

I want to continue to change things up in the blog so that you don’t get bored. I know recently we have done a lot of storytelling so today I want to get back to the blogging style of those first few blogs. (The Confidence Myth, I See It. I Like It. I Want It. I Got It.) I hope that you ladies are able to really relate to this one, so let’s talk about the sixth sense.

To help explain what the sixth sense is, let’s start with a scenario we are ALL familiar with. If you are a woman and you do not relate to this, you are one lucky ass bitch. (And probably the only one) Here is the scenario : You dated a man, he was crappy, it went horribly wrong and ended, as things often do with pieces of shit men. You are sad for a little while, but after some time passes you start to move on. Then BOOM, as soon as you start to move on he slides back in at the perfect time to reel you back in. We start to think to ourselves “How do these douchebags always seem to know when I am finally moving on?” It is their sixth sense. They can FEEL you moving on, they know they gotta keep their hold on you.

While this isn’t the type of sixth sense this blog is going to be about, I think this scenario helps you understand EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Instead of talking about the sixth sense that men have, today we are going to talk about the kind that women tend to possess. We KNOW when we are being ignored. Call it a sixth sense, call it intuition, or even call it our FBI Agent stalking skills….. We ALWAYS know, one way or another.. There is no point in lying… There is no point trying to hide it…. Be straight up with your woman.

Being ignored is one of the WORST feelings in this entire world.. I don’t care who you are, if you say it doesn’t hurt you to know you are being ignored I will call you on your bullshit. It makes you feel worthless and rejected. Want to know what I found on being ignored when I researched why it hurts so bad? I found that it turns out that social pain, the type you feel through the rejection of being ignored, shares the same neural pathways and activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain. Think about THAT the next time you purposefully ignore someone that you care even the slightest bit about.

For me, being ignored hurts even worse. I have been in a sexually, physically, and emotionally abusive relationship, as sadly way too many women have. Ignoring me was one of the ways that man would purposefully fuck with my emotions. He knew how much that hurt me and he would go out of his way to make SURE I knew I was being ignored. (As opposed to him just being too busy to respond to me.) He used his social media to accomplish that. He would make sure to post stories, share posts, etc. so that I would know what was happening.

I only mention that, because I know I can’t be the only one. I also know the lasting effects those experiences can have on us… Sometimes seeing someone on their social media while they aren’t responding to us can go one step beyond the already painful experience of being ignored and actually be a trauma trigger for us. When I am ignored blatantly that way I am triggered. Seeing someone who is supposed to care on their social media while ignoring me causes a trauma response. I go back to the abused little girl I was at the lowest place I have ever been in my life.

(I’m no therapist, please find a good therapist if you have been abused, but here is the advice I will give. Remove the trigger. If that means temporarily unadding him on social media, do it. There is no need to stare at that green online circle on Facebook and emotionally abuse yourself with it. If this is a real trauma trigger for you, do not go down the dark path here.)

Women can FEEL when we are being ignored. Girl, that is our sixth sense. If you feel like you are being ignored, don’t brush off that feeling…. If you need proof you can always do some investigation.

You see him posting? Reposting? Does he have the green bubble telling you he is active? Is he on the snap map? Is his snap score going up so exponentially you can tell that he isn’t just receiving? (He has to be sending too..) These are all good ways to prove your intuition did not fail you. Don’t let him bullshit you with saying he was asleep all day when you know damn well that he chose not to talk to you.

I’m not saying your man did not have a good reason, he may. (If he does he should just be straight up with you instead of hiding behind a lie that was easier for him to say than the truth.) I’m just saying him being asleep ain’t it. It is a cop out.

Ladies, we always complain about men’s sixth sense but luckily we have it too. Trust your gut. Trust your intuition. Trust your sixth sense. Just don’t forget your kindness and grace if he is willing to give a good reason.

As always, love you babes.

XOXO

Rathbone